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Mom, Daughter Challenge Conventional Thinking about Parenting

October 8th, 2009

by Teresa Masterson, NBC Philadelphia

Bonnie Brown has an IQ of 70. She doesn’t have a driver’s license, a bank account or a cell phone. And yet, this mentally disabled single mother has been successful in raising her gifted young daughter since birth.

“My mommy is funny and smart and never rude to anyone. She takes care of me, and I love her,” 12-year-old Myra told People Magazine in a five-page spread in the Oct. 5 issue. “Nobody’s perfect. A disability doesn’t make you who you are.”

Developmentally challenged since birth, Bonnie was left alone to care for her baby daughter after her divorce 10 years ago. But Bonnie’s disabilities didn’t stop her from being the mother that Myra needs and loves. Like most mothers, Bonnie reads Myra bedtime stories, cooks, cleans and buys the groceries—tasks that her 16 years as a french fry cook at Wendy’s has taught her to do.

“I don’t think, ‘Oh, she has a disability, how am I going to handle it?’ I think of her as a normal mom,”  said the sixth grader, who is excelling in her school’s gifted program.

Forty years ago, the Lansdowne, Pa. mother could have landed in an institution because of her mental disabilities, and the idea of her raising a child was unheard of, according to John Xuereb, a spokesman for Community Interactions – a service for people with intellectual, physical and behavioral health challenges. Community Interactions has been assisting Bonnie and Myra for years.

While Myra remembers how her mom began to struggle with helping her do homework as early as the first grade, Myra has great pride and appreciation for how her 45-year-old mother cares for her.

“Mommy is always there for me,” Myra said. “A lot of my friends don’t have a mom who is always there for them the way my mom is for me. I’m so lucky.”

A striking statement by a flourishing youth that could be eye-opening to busy, modern day parents.

Bonnie is one of the 220 people to whom the nonprofit Community Interactions brings support.

“Without them, I’d probably lose Myra,” Bonnie told People Magazine.